Memoirs of the 7 Deadly Sins
by PastaWar19
Summary: Thirty drabbles for the seven deadly sins. There's a lot more to Pride, Lust, Greed, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, and Wrath than what meets the eye. Mangaverse. Rated T for language. Are the homunculi really as evil and boring as we think?
1. Chapter 1

Memoirs of the 7 Deadly Sins

Part One

**1) People**

Lust and Gluttony were both strolling around outside, acting like normal Amestrian citizens. It was a weekend; so many innocent civilians were out for a nice walk. Suddenly, Gluttony asked, "Lust?"

"Yeah?" She replied.

"There are so many people…"

"Yeah, I know," Lust answered curiously, "What about them?"

Gluttony grinned widely. "Can I eat them?"

Lust automatically said no. Seeing Gluttony eat Envy's underwear was disgusting enough.

**2) Birthday**

"I just realized that we don't have birthdays."

Envy glared at Greed. "And so?"

"I want to have a birthday and I want to throw a party on that day," Greed answered, rolling his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why the hell would you need a birthday?" Envy retorted scathingly.

Greed smirked. "Well, it's what humans call 'your special day' and I _want_ my very own special day. Besides, I'm Greed, so I can want whatever I want."

"Whatever, you _greedy_ bastard. I don't care."

"You're just _envious_ of the humans. You want a birthday too, don't you?"

Envy walked off. "Shut up."

**3) Interruption**

One day, while Father was busy reading a deeply informative advanced alchemy book, Greed suddenly came in. The homunculus boss wasn't exactly pleased about being interrupted.

"What is it that you need, my son?" he asked impatiently.

Greed smiled softly. "Father, I just wanted to ask a question. I've been wondering…"

"Yes?"

"What would happen if alchemy never existed?"

"That's a silly question, Greed, get back to work," Father snapped, highly affronted. He went back to his book. This time, there would be no interruptions.

**4) Chocolate**

It was a boring weekend for Selim Bradley, and Pride had enough of being with bodyguards all the time. He escaped and quickly went down to the homunculus underground headquarters.

The only one down there was Gluttony, and Pride decided that maybe it would do no harm to act like a child around him. He swiftly brought out a pack of chocolate from his pocket and ate it messily.

Gluttony noticed this and instantly grabbed the heavenly delight. Pride was taken by surprise and watched as Gluttony devoured the last pieces of the rich Amestrian chocolate. He frowned.

Next time, it would be safer to eat his precious sweets without the gluttonous homunculus around.

**5) Laughter**

Envy, Greed, and Lust were hanging around the underground headquarters. Envy was shape-shifting back and forth from Greed to Lust, imitating their actions and purposely trying to annoy the two. His irritating laughter filled the basement.

A few minutes later, Greed finally had enough and stood up, his Ultimate Shield now shielding his two arms. Lust smirked as she stood up as well, her hand now transformed into Ultimate Spear.

The two laughed loudly as they revengefully beat up Envy until he ended up sprawled on the floor, aching all over. This time, it was their laughter that filled the basement.

Sloth happened to come in at that time and stared at them. "Stupid laughter… What a bother."

**6) Black**

"Why do we all have black hair?" Greed asked one day.

Lust rolled her eyes. "Why do you care?"

"Because I want to be unique, of course!"

Envy laughed. "Unique? Nothing makes you unique. You're just a-"

"Shut up, you jealous bitch. You just want to be like me."

"Why the hell would I want that?"

"Because you're nothing special."

Gluttony suddenly interrupted. "I don't have black hair. Does that make me unique?"

Lust smirked as Greed and Envy stared at Gluttony.

**7) Dog**

Nobody noticed Selim Bradley quickly wipe away his fake tears after crying for his lost pet puppy.

It was all Envy's fault.

"Envy, what is this?" Selim asked, shocked at the mess of blood on the floor, "What are you doing killing stuff down here?"

"It's just a dog, Pride," Envy answered nonchalantly, "The annoying little mutt somehow found its way down here, and peed on my foot. I hated it, and I killed it."

The voice of the Fuhrer joined them. "That dog you just killed was my birthday gift to Selim."

Envy's eyes widened as realization hit him. "Oh. Sorry, Pride. Well, Wrath, I guess that means you have to buy a new dog and-"

The Fuhrer sliced the homunculus' head off. As it grew back, he walked off with Selim tagging along, while saying, "Next time, be careful of what you kill. That thing was expensive." Selim Bradley stuck his tongue out as the eerie shadows around them disappeared. Wrath and Pride then left.

Envy glared at the now closed door, rubbing the back of his head painfully. "Stupid dog…" he muttered.

**8) Cute**

Greed was walking back to the underground headquarters after a day of running errands. He passed by a dark alley and stopped as a voice came out.

"Hey, mister, what are you doing out here late at night?" a young girl asked sweetly.

"I should be asking you the same thing, kid," Greed answered, "Why don't you come with me?"

The girl giggled. "Where to, mister?"

"To a club or a bar. We'll have fun," Greed said seductively, "You're cute and sexy enough."

"Sure thing."

Greed grinned. "You see, cutie, I pick up many girls like you and it's fun. I'm pretty popular around these parts, and I'm known for being one of the hottest guys in town."

"Wow. I'm honored to be with such a cool guy."

"Yes, my cute and sexy princess, I'm really handsome, and a devil when it comes to the bed."

The girl suddenly laughed hysterically. "THAT WAS PRICELESS!"

"Damn…" Greed knew that voice. "ENVY?"

Envy then transformed back into his original human form. "POPULAR? HOT? HANDSOME? DEVIL IN THE BED? AW, COME ON! YOU'RE SO PITIFUL THAT ANY PROSTITUTE WOULD COIL AT THE SIGHT OF YOU!"

Greed shuddered. "That's not funny. I actually called you a _cute and sexy princess_."

Envy shuddered as well. "You're right. That _is_ gross."

**9) Sleep**

Wrath was desperate. He needed Sloth to get up and going to make the underground tunnels make faster progress. Then, he could go back to the usual Fuhrer work. The lazy homunculus was, unfortunately, asleep.

"Sloth. Wake up. It's time to get back to work," he said while poking the other with his sword.

"No," Sloth mumbled, "Don't want."

Wrath stared at the big, lazy lump. "What _do_ you want? You'll get it when you're done."

"I want… sleep."

Sloth then slept for another few hours while Wrath decided to let Lust wake him instead.

**10) Scared**

It was midnight. Lust, Envy, and Greed were still awake, sitting in the explosives basement. They were telling horror stories.

"Then, the woman cried out, 'Before we die, I want to spend my last moments sharing my love with you.' And the man let out manly tears, hugging the woman tightly. The monsters then broke through the supernatural barrier and attacked the dying lovers mercilessly," Greed said animatedly, making exaggerated hand gestures and movements, some that were quite inappropriate.

Envy laughed maniacally. "That story sucks. Mine's better."

Greed smirked. "Fine. Bring it on, palm tree."

"There was this sad, sad guy named Greg. He was ugly and stupid, and everyone hated him. His brother, Eddy, was this really handsome, cool, and hot guy that everyone loved. Luna, their sister, plotted to trick them because they were so annoying, so she asked the help of Pete, the eldest brother. Pete summoned dark spirits and ghosts to haunt Greg and Eddy, who got really scared. Luna was happy," Envy said exaggeratedly, making animated actions and imitations, some that were quite offensive.

Greed frowned. "That's it? It sucks!"

Envy shot back, "Yours is about gushy romantic stuff that ends ugly!"

"Yours doesn't even have a proper ending!"

Lust tried to stop the two from bickering and arguing, but failed. She grinned as Pride entered the room, confused at the strange scene. "Lust, what's going on?"

The two fighting homunculi didn't even notice him. "Pride, these two bastards…"

"You don't have to explain," Pride cut off, grinning deviously, "Watch and learn from the expert."

Suddenly, a great wind pushed the door open with such a strong force that all of them staggered backwards. Dark shadows poured into the room and rushed menacingly toward the two arguing homunculi.

"AAAAHHHH!" they both screamed like girls.

Lust laughed. Greed and Envy never underestimated Pride's ability to scare ever again.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **My friend gave me 30 words and told me to make short drabbles for each. I decided to post the first ten here. The next 20 will come in the following two chapters. Hope you enjoy~! _

_-PW19  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Fullmetal Alchemist

Memoirs of the 7 Deadly Sins

Part Two

**11) Immortality**

When Greed was just a few months old, he decided to ask Father and Pride a question he had been thinking about for a long time.

"Since we're homunculi, beings higher than the average human, does that mean we've achieved immortality?" he inquired, the greed in his eyes shining brightly.

Father did not say anything, for he had seen the brief shine of greed in his son's eyes. Pride, however, did not see that at all, therefore he had answered.

"No, we're not immortal," he said knowingly, proud of knowing the answer to his little brother's question. "The Philosopher's Stones in our bodies have a limit, and when they're all used up, we die. It's not immortality; it's more of prolonged life."

Greed frowned. "Oh? I see…"

Later, when he had exited the room, Father told Pride, "He's not going to last long with us."

"Whatever do you mean, Father?" the eldest homunculus asked, puzzled.

"He won't serve me as faithfully as you and the others would," Father replied quietly, "His greed is strong. He is Greed, after all. He wants more, and can't really achieve the best of his desires if he stays. There'd be a limit."

Pride's eyes widened. "If he tries to leave, will you stop him, Father?"

There was no answer.

**12) Confidence**

Father was sure of two facts:

The first was that his children would be extremely useful to him in his rise to power.

The second was that his children would rule below him as he dominated the world.

He was VERY confident about those two facts, and he never, _ever_ doubted them.

Well, there was this one time wherein he did.

Gluttony had eaten Sloth's giant waterbed. Sloth decided to sleep on the ground, but blocked the doorway. Envy tripped over Sloth's feet, and blamed the clueless Greed, who was coincidentally standing behind him. Greed lost his temper and threw Envy to the other side of the room using a strong Ultimate Shield arm. Envy hit Lust, who was applying makeup. She got mad and tried to stab Envy with her Ultimate Spear hand. Envy ducked, so Lust accidentally hit Pride instead. He became really angry and aimed to hit Lust, who ducked, and then hit Greed. Greed had enough and kicked Sloth out of the doorway. Sloth woke up and was extremely bothered, so he walked to another spot on the floor to sleep. He happened to sit on Gluttony, who panicked and opened up his fake Gate of Truth. Everyone ran off, even Sloth, and Gluttony ended up sucking a box into his mouth. Envy screamed, claiming that it was his. They all got confused as to what was inside, until Lust found a sports bra that had fallen out of the box earlier. Greed laughed hysterically until he was hit by Envy, and the two fought. Lust sat down and tried to apply makeup again, but Gluttony ate the makeup kit. Sloth slept. Pride left the room because he didn't give a damn.

The day after, Lust came out of the headquarters with money enough for a new makeup kit. Gluttony was found trailing after her with a bouquet of half-eaten white flowers. Father was starting to lose a bit of his confidence about the two facts.

An hour later, when Lust had gotten home, Pride asked her to buy another gigantic bed for Sloth. Sloth heard this and added bluntly that he wanted it to be a water bed. Pride and Lust sighed, resigned to agreeing. Father's confidence decreased a bit more.

The final straw was when a desperate Envy ran into the room, demanding where Greed was. Father, confused, said that he hadn't seen him. A few minutes later, Greed entered the room, cackling gleefully, with a _pink bikini _in one hand and a _flower patterned miniskirt_ in another, singing softly (sung in the tune of She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain), "I will stick Lust's Ultimate Spear up your ass! I will stick Lust's Ultimate Spear up your ass! I will stick Lust's Ultimate Spear, and even Pride's creepy shadows, and even Gluttony's gross tongue up your ass!"

Father couldn't help but lose _all _his confidence over the two facts after _that_.

The scene was so animated and somewhat unrealistic that he hoped that it was all a dream.

But no, it was all real, and they really were the same children he created to help him rise to power.

Father only managed to regain all his confidence a few weeks later.

**13) Brownies**

King Bradley and Selim had come home from work and school, tired from the long day. To their great pleasure, Mrs. Bradley had announced that she had baked brownies for them.

The two ate them, of course, but noticed something strange. The brownies tasted different… almost funky in a weird sense. Selim had difficulty swallowing, and forced himself to say in a sweet voice, "That was delicious, mother!"

Mrs. Bradley smiled, and King Bradley warily noted that the smile was absurd. It wasn't the usual sweet smile that greeted him every day. "Envy, stop playing your stupid games and get back to the underground headquarters."

Envy frowned as he transformed back to his original human form. "Damn, what gave me away?"

Pride didn't give Wrath time to answer as he used his shadows to strangle the other homunculus. "Get out of here! Where's the real ? If she ends up dead, people will start to think things, the whole plan would be ruined, and it will be all YOUR fault, so-"

"She's… sleeping. In… Room. Upstairs!" Envy choked out, making poor attempts to free himself from the shadow lock he was in. Pride smirked, his shadows receding once again. Wrath stared at Envy sternly, extreme agitation written all over his face.

Envy grumbled as he quickly jumped out the window.

What was wrong with his brownies?

**14) Stones**

Gluttony burped as he finished eating a group of stones on the ground. A question came to his mind.

"Lust?"

Said homunculus turned, her hair flowing slightly in the soft breeze. "What is it?"

"Why are the Philosopher's Stones usually stones? Can't they be juice, or cookies, or…"

Pride and his shadows came up to the rooftop. "What are you two doing up here?"

"Nothing," Lust answered truthfully.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation," Pride said, ignoring the answer, "Philosopher's Stones are created in a very convenient way, yet it's possible for them to be created as juice, or cookies."

Gluttony frowned. "So why not juice or cookies?"

Pride darkly smiled. "This is just my opinion, but I think it's because immortality and riches are better encased in stones. It's irony, you see. Stones are just simple objects, not really that important. Using them as containers for great power makes their dullness and uselessness contradictorily turn into brilliance and usefulness."

Lust nodded, whispering softly, "It proves that something so simple can become something so great."

Gluttony was silent, pondering on the answer to his question.

The three then watched as, one by one, stars slowly started to appear in the young night sky.

**15) Distractions **

Envy and Lust hated it whenever Greed would screw up in some simple mission.

Usually, the causes of these failures were distractions. Examples were sexy women in revealing outfits walking up and down the street, trucks of the best alcoholic beverages in town parked just across the location of target, lively bars with several easily pleased people attending the party, shops with expensive clothes, and even lost money laying abandoned on park benches.

Yes, distractions were things Greed couldn't get over with. He'd screw up missions because of them.

He was too much of a greedy bastard.

**16) Sins**

Envy was one of the homunculi who rarely ever asked Father any questions. One question made him too curious, though. He approached Father and asked it straight away.

"Why did you create us homunculi out of the seven sins?"

Father frowned. This was one of those FAQ (frequently asked questions) his children asked him.

"Because I wanted to. Would you rather be created from the seven heavenly virtues, and be called Kindness instead?"

"No…" Envy mumbled, disappointed with the answer. Father just avoided the question. "You would have no use as virtues so good, as opposed to sins quite deadly."

Envy walked out of the room, muttering, "Too much kindness is for pussies, anyway…"

Father smirked. Seven sins would be enough.

**17) Bed**

One day, Sloth entered Pride's room. He seemed quite bothered (whenever was he not?) about something, and looked like he needed some sleep (whenever did he not?).

"Pride," he said tiredly, "Have you seen my waterbed?"

The other homunculus stared at him. "Don't tell me Gluttony ate it. Lust spent a lot on that!"

Sloth shook his head and replied, "They both haven't seen it."

"How about Envy?" Pride asked, hoping that it was him who had taken it, rather than _the other one._

"He's on a mission. I checked his room. Not there."

Pride bowed his head sadly. "As I have thought, it unfortunately _is_ that idiot who had taken it. That means we have to spend more on a new one. Greed most likely took it. And if he takes something, there's a really low possibility that it could be taken back."

Sloth had already rushed off in search for the greedy homunculus, wanting so much to sleep in his waterbed.

Later, when Envy came home, he asked Pride, "So what's this I heard from Lust about Greed and Sloth fighting over a bed?"

Pride rolled his eyes. "It's ridiculous, really. Fighting over a _bed,_ of all things." Suddenly, a loud crash was heard in the other room. Envy and Pride didn't even bother to check on what was happening. A few seconds after that, the wall broke down. Nobody really knew who threw the bed, but repairs for the wall cost a lot.

**18) Nicknames **(Fun Fact: I got this idea while sitting on the toilet. XD)

Gluttony was fond of giving the other homunculi nicknames, except for Father, of course.

Pride was 'Pridey'. Pride didn't exactly like it at first, but then as he adapted to Selim Bradley's body, his child tendencies took over and therefore allowed himself to be named that.

Lust was 'Lusty'. Lust didn't care at all about what Gluttony called her, as long as it wasn't in public.

Greed was 'Gree-Gree'. Greed was annoyed, although Gluttony didn't use it much anyway. That resulted in Envy using it instead- a lot. Lust preferred 'Greedy'.

Envy was 'Vy-Vy'. Envy absolutely despised this nickname, but reluctantly decided to let it pass. Greed taunted him for months, though.

Sloth was 'Slothy'. Sloth didn't mind it at all. Either he didn't care, or he didn't even notice Gluttony was addressing him. Most likely the latter.

When Wrath joined them, Gluttony had a difficult time thinking up a nickname. 'Wrathy' was terrible, and he could easily mix it up with Raffy. Then, he decided to call him 'Wrah', which was also spelled as 'Wra', 'Wrahh', or 'Wraah', depending on how the 'a' was pronounced.

The homunculus Fuhrer instantly killed Gluttony five times due to his total anger and… well… wrath.

Gluttony learned not to call Wrath any nicknames. He wasn't like the others.

**19) Coat**

One fine day, Envy was going home from spy work. He came across a dog.

He had always hated dogs ever since he was born.

He killed it. It was really messy, blood staining its sleek black fur, slightly mixed with mud.

As he entered the headquarters, he overheard Greed talking to himself. "Damn, the weather's so cold these days. I better get a new coat…"

Envy couldn't contain his excitement as he ran out of the underground hiding place again, ignoring a confused, WTF-faced Lust as he bumped into her. He finally reached the abandoned lot wherein he had killed the innocent black dog. It now looked terrible on the muddy ground, and he didn't mind the dying stench emanating from it as he picked it up and dragged it on the way back.

Envy couldn't contain his excitement as he ran into the homunculus headquarters again, ignoring a confused, WTF-faced Lust as he bumped into her for a second time. He came into his room and slammed the door shut, locking it, as he prepared to shave the fur off the dog.

Later, Greed found a black fur coat lying outside his closet. He thought that it was maybe a coat he had bought one day and forgotten. He grinned as he dashed to the thing and put it on, shielding him from the cold weather. He, at first, thought it smelled funny, and the ends of the coat were rather roughly cut, but ignored it.

When he entered the main room and found Envy laughing at him hysterically, he decided to think it was nothing. When Lust entered and saw the whole thing happening, she had a confused, WTF-face on, but later, she winked at Envy as she seemed to realize what was going on.

The next day, Greed ordered Gluttony to eat it, just to get it out of his sight once and for all.

He was never again going to put on any article of clothing lying anywhere anymore. Never. Otherwise, Envy wouldn't let him hear the end of it.

**20) Sick**

Father had assigned Pride and Lust to patrol around Amestris for any news or events one day. They, of course, followed.

Unfortunately for Pride, a lot of men were having their days off that day, and were gawking at Lust whenever she passed by. He could have cut their heads off himself if he could, but he almost forgot that he was a shadow, so he stopped himself.

Soon, Lust was actually flirting back. Pride scowled. "Lust."

"Yes?" she asked, as she licked her lips after a rather passionate kiss with a stranger.

"Can you stop doing that? Don't forget that I'm watching in every shadow, and it makes me sick to have to see every single detail of your coquettish acts," Pride answered softly.

Lust flinched. She hated it whenever her oldest brother would have that dangerous tone of voice. She decided to lay the flirting low for a while.

Later, when it was already growing dark, a man cornered Lust into a dark alleyway and attempted to seduce her, thinking that she was alone. The last thing he saw was a creature made out of shadows with furious, glowing, dark amethyst eyes about to cut him up into pieces. Pride didn't hesitate as he mercilessly killed the poor human.

Pride scoffed as Lust stared at the dead, chopped up man.

"Feeling sympathy, Lust?"

"No, no, of course not," she replied snappishly. "Sins do not feel sympathy. He was just a pitiful human."

"I see. You and I may not feel _sympathy_, but seriously, I feel _sick_ after watching all those disgusting acts that only one like you could accomplish."

"Are you calling me a slut, Pride?"

"No, I was just saying that I feel sick having to watch you acting like one."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__I think part two is my favorite part. The first dragged a bit, and the next one will have more serious drabbles than funny ones, you see, and this second part was the one I had most fun with. Don't worry, though; I'll put up the third part in no time at all. Surely, you'll like it as much as you liked the first two- ensuring that, of course, you even liked them at all. -_-_

___Thanks for the reads and reviews. Please continue until the last part. Hope you enjoy~! :)_

**-PW19 :D**___  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**_I do not own FMA or the Homunculi. Last chapter, mostly written during boring subjects at school. Hope you all like. :)_

* * *

**

**Quality**

One day, Gluttony came into Lust's room. Apparently, he had eaten too much wild animals that day and coincidentally divulged his puke in Lust's room at that very moment. After the mess was cleaned up, the smell, unfortunately, still remained in the room.

It just so happened that Greed and Envy were bored and had nothing to do. They decided to help Lust with her small problem… Well, only because she threatened a solution out of them by attempting to shove her Ultimate Spear nails up their asses. Of course, they obliged and went to collect flowers to scent Lust's room with (she wanted her room to smell natural again).

Greed went out and came back with a huge bouquet of tiny, messily picked garden daisies. "Here you go. I got even more than you asked for."

Envy came back with only a few stalks of fragrant roses and lilies- far lesser than what Greed had brought in. "How about these?"

Lust decided to use Envy's flowers instead.

"What's wrong with my HUGE bouquet?" Greed demanded indignantly.

"Quality's better than quantity, idiot," Envy snarled gleefully.

Lust couldn't help but agree.

**Quantity**

Pride and Wrath were down in the basement with Father. Greed was recycled back into Father and Lust had just died recently. Envy was sent to fetch Gluttony but was taking too long. Sloth was far from completing the nationwide circle.

Pride was curious. "Father, why did you make so many useless homunculi when you could have just made use of a few important ones?"

Wrath looked at Father, wondering the same thing.

Their father simply answered, "Quantity is sometimes better than quality."

**Telephone**

He hated getting wet in the rain. His disguise had already been wonderful! A brunette with sufficient cleavage and elegant blue eyes- now drenched to the bone by a surprise storm. He ran to the nearest phone booth to get dry and watched as the raindrops beat down heavily on the pavement. Maybe it would be great if he got Wrath to give him a ride. He transformed back into his original human form.

Envy quickly dialed the number and the phone rang monotonously. "Hurry up…" he muttered, shivering.

Someone answered. "Hughes, if this is about your daughter again, I'm going to hang up and-"

"Can I speak to the Fuhrer?" he cut off impatiently.

The man on the other line paused. "…I believe you have the wrong number. This is Colonel Musta-"

Envy put down the phone, frustrated. How the hell did he get the number wrong? Trying again, he dialed slowly to make sure that his shivering index finger was pressing the right numbers. After a while, he finally connected to the Fuhrer's phone.

"Good evening, this is Fuhrer King Bradley's office-"

He practically yelled the code and waited for the secretary to give the phone to Wrath.

"What is it now, Envy? You know I'm busy and-"

"I'm fucking stranded in a phone booth because of this freak storm! Can you at least send a driver to pick me up or-"

"Sure. Anything to keep you silent. Oh, and Father has assigned you and Lust to kill a man as soon as possible. His name is Lieutenant Colonel Hu-"

"YEAH, YEAH, I'LL DO IT. TELL THE DAMN DETAILS LATER AND JUST GET ME HOME NOW!"

Click.

**Rabbit**

"Now, can one of you explain all this chaos?" Father said.

Lust spoke up. "Father, there was a rabbit in the hallway so-"

Pride, in his Selim Bradley form, exclaimed, "That gave you no reason to just hurt it! It did no harm-"

Wrath sighed. "This is just like the time Envy killed the puppy I bought for Pride."

Envy rolled his eyes. "At least I cleaned the blood stains on the walls-"

Gluttony interrupted wistfully, "I wanted to eat the rabbit _and_ the puppy…"

Pride glared at him. "You scared it into the hallway, then Lust just had to cut off one of its ears! It still would have been fine if Sloth hadn't-"

Sloth opened a droopy eyelid. "I thought it would make a good pillow-"

Pride lost his temper._ "IT'S NOT A PILLOW, NOR A PIECE OF LUNCH, AND ESPECIALLY NOT SOMETHING_ _YOU CAN STAB OR CUT UP!_"

Envy chuckled. "This is even more entertaining than the time Greed thought I was a girl-"

Father was absolutely bewildered. "Silence! Someone explain _properly_."

Lust spoke up. "Father, there was a rabbit in the hallway so-"

Pride exclaimed, "That gave you no reason to just hurt it! It did no harm-"

Wrath sighed. "This is just like the time Envy killed the puppy I bought for Pride-"

Envy rolled his eyes. "At least I cleaned the blood stains on the walls-"

Gluttony interrupted wistfully, "I wanted to eat the rabbit _and _the puppy…"

Father gave up.

**Death  
**

Greed looked up at the sky. The sun seemed as if it boiled with anticipation at the scene unfolding before it. Father was at large. He had to be stopped.

_Greed's first death involved him being __boiled__ painfully in a huge bath tub._

Greed jumped down, right arm ready to punch Father. Ling yelled inside of him, telling him not to do so, but he paid no actual attention. Ling cried out desperately and as Greed's fist made contact with Father's face, his heart- no, Stone- burned with regret.

_Lust was __burned__ to death by Roy Mustang._

Greed stared down furiously at his now smiling father. Then, his face changed from a glare of defiance to a look of astonishment. Father's left eye, currently occupied by a carbon fist, was somehow sucking in Greed's blood- no, Stone. He felt half of his arm consumed by his father's face.

_Gluttony met death, __consumed__ mercilessly by Pride._

Greed tried to suck in his father's stone instead but then he turned out stuck to his face, which wasn't a good position to be in. He was pulled around as Father was forced into combat by Edward Elric, Izumi Curtis, and Louis Armstrong. None of their blows actually scratched him, but Greed felt a few strikes graze his face. He frowned. The next thing he knew, Father sort of exploded. He was thrown off like a rag doll.

_Sloth was __thrown__ to his death by the Armstrongs and Curtises, stabbed by a spike._

Greed watched as a huge blast trapped Ed and forced Al to make a sacrifice to get back his brother's arm. He watched as everyone cheered the Fullmetal Alchemist on, Ling helping him understand his true feelings. Greed scowled. Suddenly, Father's arm found its way into his stomach. He made up his mind. He was sucked into Father and Ling's scream resounded in his ears. The greedy homunculus was reduced to being just another soul in Father's body.

_Envy met death through suicide after being __reduced__ to lizard form by the Flame Alchemist._

Greed tried to ignore the screams of innocent civilians and went straight to work. He turned his father's body into weak charcoal and cheered in success as he felt the old homunculus lose the ability to fight. The screams from the souls that accompanied Greed changed from despair to joy. Suddenly, as Greed triumphantly exclaimed his victory, Father pulled him out and extinguished him.

_Pride was __extinguished__ by Edward Elric, the voice of Zolf Kimblee taunting him as he breathed his last._

Greed felt himself dying. He saw Edward and Ling Yao staring up at him in horror, and he couldn't help showing off with a noble grin. Memories of him, the chimeras, Ed, Ling, and the other friends he made haunted him as he faded away into dust- into nothing.

_Wrath was finally killed by Scar and the sight of the bright sun __haunted__ him before he died._

Greed was gone but the moment he died, nobody had wanted to forget him.

_Father __died__ and he was forgotten by the many enemies he had made._

**Mother**

One day, Greed had come inside headquarters with a lady behind him. Everyone stared.

Father broke the silence. "Um, Greed, my son… Why are you bringing in this lady?"

The greedy homunculus retorted, "Why? I'm Greed, the guy who wants everything in this world- and that includes a mother!"

Everyone stared at him in shock. Father's jaw dropped to the floor.

**Symbol**

When Lust was newly created, a question came to her mind.

She asked Father, "What is with the ourobouros engraved on my chest?"

The older homunculus smirked. "My dear child, the ourobouros stands for destruction. It is a sign of recreation."

Lust cunningly answered, "Is that all there is to it?"

Father smiled proudly at his daughter. "It is also a symbol of death."

**Revenge**

Greed woke up one day, his sunglasses ruined and broken beyond repair. Oh his brother was going to pay.

Envy woke up the next day, his skin painted brown, his hair dyed leaf green, and written on his face were the words "I AM A PROUD PALM TREE. HEAR ME ROAR." Apparently, the pissed-off homunculus hadn't seen the worst.

When he killed a certain lieutenant colonel and got raped by flames months later, only then did he know the true meaning of revenge.

And it had nothing to do with Greed and his stupid supply of paint and dye.

**Child**

When Pride was to have Selim Bradley as his container, there was no room for him to complain.

"But Father-"

"It's a suitable container for you. Nobody would expect a child to house one of the most powerful homunculi ever created."

"But it's a _child_-"

Wrath interrupted. "Father is right, Pride. Besides, I need a 'son'.

All he got was a dirty look from his older brother. "Fine. I'll do it but only because Father said so. I don't care if you need a son."

Years later, Pride didn't bother to complain anymore. In fact, he more preferred it this way, although he would never mention it to the others.

**Family**

No matter how much they'd deny it, the homunculi were family.

There was Father, the dad who always sat on his big fat throne and worked to reach his goals.

There was Pride, the scary eldest brother who also looked cute if he wasn't in shadow mode.

There was Lust, the hot and sexy sister who could always cut you up if you pissed her off.

There was Greed, the selfish bastard brother who ended up betraying them all for the good.

There was Envy, the annoying prick brother (or sister) who usually caused the chaos among them all.

There was Wrath, the serious and more focused brother who was always doing his job as Fuhrer.

There was Sloth, the strong brother who either dug holes in the ground or slept all day.

There was Gluttony, the baby brother who loved to eat- both living and non-living.

In a grotesquely twisted way, they were a family. They lived together, worked together, played together, and loved each other (in their own eccentric ways). It was their destiny to be evil, to kill off as much good as they could.

No matter how much they'd deny it, the homunculi were family.

* * *

**_FOR GREED-HATERS AND PRIDE-HATERS, I'M SORRY BUT THEY'RE MY FAVORITE HOMUNCULI. Hehe. I love some of these drabbles so much that I might actually make separate one-shots... Please review and thanks for reading. Hope you all enjoyed! :)_**

-PW19**_  
_**


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